The Warm Fuzzies

Its amazing how certain people can make you feel. Just being with them makes you feel like a better person. The bring out the best in you and you just feel like yourself around them. Anything seems like it could be a possibility when you're with them. Mundane activities like cleaning up can be an absolute blast when you do it with them. Its awesome when you find people like that. Its a gift that just keeps on giving.

I'm so lucky to have people like that in my life. I truly am really grateful. Because I remember a time when I didn't have anyone and its heart wrenching to think about going back to having no one to count on, no one to make me smile and just be there for me, but oddly, more importantly for me to be there for them. As happy as they make me, nothing makes me more happy than bringing any sort of spark in their lives.

So here's to all the people that bring that warm glow into our lives and make each moment you spend with them that much better.

What's *Worth* It?

It often baffles me what some people will spend a fair amount of money. And I'm not talking about those who are especially rich and have lots of money to spare. I'm talking about those who *do* need to think about their rent cheques, not really worry about it, but still need to think about it and grieve the chunk it takes out of their bank account.

It's when those people spend their money on complete frivolities is what baffles me. Actually, that's not entirely true, its those who will spend that money on those frivolities that and then complain about necessities or "good expenses". For example take all the students complaining about rising tuition. I'm sorry, you can't spend over $60 on a season of some show on DVD or buy that new IPod, and still have the audacity to complain about the high cost of tuition.

Are you actually putting a higher value on complete crap than enriching your mind, enhancing your knowledge and making you more of an intellectual. Though I suppose those spending that money on their PS3's aren't aiming to becoming intellectuals.

Don't get me wrong, gadgets are fantastic. My heart skips a beat when I see all that Best Buy has to offer. I would absolutely love to get my hands on a 60 gig MP3, but I'd rather save that money and go on trip. Okay, so I guess, here ensues a smattering of egocentrism. Who am I to say that a single trip is somehow superior to buying that HDTV? It isn't. Rather it can be said that a TV has more longevity and even a resale value, that a vacation entirely lacks. Though a vacation can also be frivolous. What to forget the topic at hand!

So I suppose to answer my own question, it is worth it, if it's worth it for the spender. Cause frankly, it's their money, and as long as it ain't hurting anyone, who am I to quib?

Its Raining (Wo)men

I was just thinking about all the jobs I've held, they've all been quite different yet they all have one aspect that is identical - a complete lack of the male species. My first job at a sandwich shop had a manager at first, who trained me, but soon was replaced by a female manager once he moved up the ranks. I worked with all other women, who ran the place and with whom I worked alongside.

My very part-time temporary, hiccup of a summer job at a warehouse had me working with all women with just a manager or so who were male. Whom I barely saw or interacted with.

My second job at my university gallery, I worked under a female director and curator and an almost entirely female work staff, with a smattering of men who worked part-time or as work study students like me, but with whom I was paired with only once or twice.

My third and most recent job at a women's (um a shocker this one should be!) clothing store, I barely even ever SEE any men apart from a few tag-along husbands/significant others/dutiful sons, let alone work with them.

It was just a funny thought that struck me, and we shall see what my next "post" holds. (pun so intended, i.e. blog and work)

Unstimulated Memories

Do you ever just randomly smell or have a taste in your mouth for something that you haven't experienced in a really long time?

While I was putting away clothes at work the other day, I suddenly "tasted" Kaybee's ice cream. Its fairly odd, considering we had stopped having Kaybee's ice cream while we were still living there. But I could taste it, feel the texture and smell the wonderful essencey coffee flavour while going up and down trying to figure which one of the 10 different kinds of black pants the store carries was the one in my hand.

Every time I have an odd sensory memory flash triggered for no particular reason it makes me think of all the different things just logged away in our gray matter, ready to pop out at any given moment. Its fairly fantastic the way our brains work.

Waterworks

I often seem to be on the verge of tears. The oddest situations move and I feel those tears forming behind my eyes. Sometimes situations that should make me sad, don't. I feel apathetic towards them. Why can't I seem to get emotional about the right things?
Things that Causes that Lump:

I wish I could figure out what to do. The whole event planning thing, um, yea, it doesn't seem to pay much. Some can do really well. But I lack the whole "go-get-em/work super hard for my dream" attitude. This whole indifference towards my life is getting really old really fast.

I wish I could get passionate about something, anything. Get really into something and then stick to it. Its going to be lovely. I'll be this alone, desolate old maid with nothing but my misery and regrets. My last words will be "meh".

Sad.

Lets hope it changes. Or rather I change.

Adversities

Life. Its so odd. I know over 6 billion have probably written about it, pondered, reflected or given up on it. Its one of those universal equalizers. We all have *life*. We have different degrees of control over it, but we all exist. But, seriously, what's the point of it all?

Dreams. I adore them. I'm more or less trapped by them. They're so vivid and fantastical, its like a motion picture in my head. They're the reason I'd rather sleep for 12 hours than be awake. Reality blows. See above.

The Future. A mystery that is a combination of the two. Well I guess the future will "come" regardless of whether one pursues their dreams or just sits around and farts all day. Hopefully people will pick the former. I seem to continuously choose the latter. Why? I have so many hopes and dreams for "later". What's wrong with right now?

I still feel like such a child. I seem to aging downwardly. I think 15ish was my peak. The most mature I'd get. And that was that. I don't seem to be learning from my mistakes.

How does one better ones self if they can't get a control of one's life?